Heidi Garner, SNL’s “middle child” and Kansas City kid is a rabid Chiefs fan who lets kids watch R-rated movies. While rolling out more hot-mess characters this season, she’s sharper than ever. Read our Q&A with Garner—but first, the basics.
Age: 38
Tattoo count: Four.
All-time SNLer: Eddie Murphy. Growing up, he was the G.O.A.T. on SNL.
Something to eat in KC besides BBQ: The best chicken wings ever are at The Peanut. They’re huge. I mean, they’re from prehistoric birds.
Tailgating policy: 100 percent yes. Arrowhead Stadium is a generous parking lot.
Every cast member has an SNL grind story. What’s yours?
The longest I’ve gone without sleeping is 25 hours. You’re just thrown into it and fully along for the ride, letting that take you wherever it’s going to go. My first year I was staying up all night, sustaining on gummy candy.
How did you nail your portrayal of a coked-up ’80s movie wife?
The cocaine wife was a dream. Sharon Stone is legendary in Casino and getting a taste of that world for two minutes was amazing. I was a stone-faced kid and didn’t let my emotions out much. Sometimes I think maybe it’s this freeing thing in adulthood that I can just go off playing emotional characters.
The spoof on The Last Dance, where you played a Chicago Bulls security guard, was next level. That take a lot of prep?
We filmed that the night before the show and it was one of the best times ever. When the clip played during the dress rehearsal I meditated so whether the audience liked it or not it wouldn’t affect my live sketches later. As I took my Airbuds out I heard a scream and then suddenly Ego [Nwodim], Bowen [Yang] and Chris Redd burst into my dressing room and yelled, “Your sketch was incredible!” It was such a great moment.
Did they dig the Kansas City Chiefs dress you rocked after Super Bowl LIV?
I’m unapologetic in my Chiefs’ fandom—not that anyone has asked me to apologize. My husband was brought up a Broncos fan. I’m proud to say I have converted him to a Chiefs fan. Although Patrick Mahomes, the best quarterback in the league, may have converted him more.
When you worked at a movie theater, which flick did you watch the most?
My friends and I were really into Van Wilder with Ryan Reynolds. We let so many kids sneak into that R movie because we thought it was so funny. I remember turning a 10-year-old away and he was so bummed.
You also put in nine years at a hair salon. Worst hair you saw?
There was a man in his late 60s who was the only client still getting a perm—just on the top of his hair. He told my boss that’s how his hair was in the ’70s when he was killing it. Now I love that. My advice is, if you’re thinking about perm-on-top, do it. And this is a cliché but so many women in your chair open up, I started feeling like a therapist. It was always nice when there was a male client that didn’t want to talk. So, thank you, some guys, for just being quiet and letting me have my one moment of Zen.
You’ve mentioned meditation and Zen. Stress much on SNL?
I get those anxiety vibes wondering if I’ll have anything for a sketch. But I’m an observer. A lot of my ideas come from an interesting person or even their outfit.
Ever ponder life beyond 30 Rockefeller Plaza?
I’m fully focused on SNL. I want to thrive and play as many characters as possible. I also wrote a script during last season. A dream is to sell and make that movie, and have it coincide with being on SNL.
You’ve been a cast member since 2017. Do you roll in with swagger now like the opening of Goodfellas?
We haven’t had a shake-up or mass cast exodus for a while, so I’d say I’m like one of the middle children right now. But I have been there for a while. Maybe I will start acting like an elder statesman. I’ll make trying the Goodfellas move a goal this year.
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There’s no doubt when the weather turns colder as we settle into winter, stouts take center stage. And while we enjoy all its iterations: standard stout, imperial stout, and robust barrel-aged stouts, we think this malty, chocolate-filled beer’s close cousin deserves a little respect as well. Of course, we’re talking about the oft-overlooked porter. And the best porters, oh buddy, they’ll have you rethinking your seasonal bevvie of choice.
For those uninitiated, the porter style had its genesis in England like many other iconic beer styles. It first appeared in the 1700s and is (you guessed it) named after porters—individuals tasked with transporting luggage.
A confusing origin story
“Stout is the direct descendant of porter. In the 1700s, it was common to use the word ‘stout’ to refer to a bolder, higher-alcohol version of any beer style, much in the same way we use the word ‘imperial’ today,” says Zach Fowle, advanced cicerone and head of marketing for Arizona Wilderness Brewing Co. in Phoenix, AZ. “Porter was the most popular beer of the day, and over time, “stout porter” became a popular variant. But by the late 1800s, demand for regular porters evaporated, and stout porter shortened simply to stout.”
But more has changed between the 1800s and today than just our penchant for wearing top hats. “Today, most brewers seem to market beers as either stout or porter based on vibes, rather than on any notable stylistic differences,” he says.
Specifically, porters are known for their dark, almost pitch-black color and rich, sweet flavor profile. If you were to drink a porter and a stout side by side, you might even have difficulty discerning the differences between the two.
Stout versus porter is an enduring topic of discussion in the brewing industry. “While there’s no debating the porter came first—and stout used to be called stout porter, so it was a stronger version of a porter—the lines have become very blurred over the years,” says Rob Lightner, co-founder of East Brother Brewing in Richmond, CA.
“I would venture that even among professionals, a blind taste test would often yield inconclusive results,” says Lightner.
The difference between porters and stouts
Porters tend to be on the milder, more chocolatey end of the spectrum, Lightner says, whereas stouts are typically a little stronger and more roasty. Of course, this isn’t a hard and fast rule
Fowle agrees, “Porters tend to be fruitier, sweeter, and less bitter than stouts, with cocoa and caramel flavors in balance with dark malt bitterness. And stouts are usually hoppier, drier, maltier, and more coffee-forward—and may even have a touch of acidity.”
Whether or not they fit neatly into boxes, one thing’s for sure: both make for incredible cold-weather brews.
“As the nights grow longer, drinking a light, summery beer just doesn’t seem right,” says Fowle. “Porter is the perfect style for the transition to winter: warming and toasty yet not too heavy, with flavors of coffee, chocolate, and pie crust that correspond with autumn weather and holidays.”
It’s the perfect time to broaden your repretoire. Sweet, robust, warming, and well-suited to the season, here are the best porters to drink now.
1. Deschutes Black Butte Porter
There are few porters more well-respected than Deschutes’ iconic Black Butte Porter. It’s brewed with Cascade and Tettnang hops as well as 2-row, Chocolate, Crystal, and Carapils malts as well as wheat. This 5.5% ABV year-round offering is great for cold-weather drinking because of its mix of roasted malts, coffee, and chocolate. It’s a robust, subtly sweet beer perfect for imbibing on a crisp fall night.
The key to 360-degree muscle: 90-degree eccentric isometrics. It might seem like we’re throwing a lot of geometry at you, but the concept behind time under tension (TUT) is simple, says Joel Seedman, PhD, owner of Advanced Human Performance: “Perform the lowering phase of a movement in a slow, controlled fashion, usually 3 to 5 seconds; pause in the stretched position, typically around 90 degrees; then perform the lifting phase in a powerful yet controlled fashion.” Believe us, a time-under-tension workout can humble even seasoned lifters…Eccentric isometrics are like the pressure cooker of training.
“Rather than mindlessly performing slow-tempo reps, you’re using the increased time under tension as a means to fine-tune your body mechanics and alignment, which requires more mental engagement and focus,” Seedman adds.
If you want to forge functional muscle mass and strength while simultaneously bulletproofing the joints and connective tissue, give this 10-move, full-body eccentric isometrics workout a go.
Directions
Perform the following moves as 90-degree eccentric isometrics following the above protocol. Use heavy weight, but not at the detriment of proper form. Rest 60 to 90 seconds between sets and 2 minutes between circuits. Perform once every 2 to 4 days for optimal results.
Best Time-Under-Tension Workout for Total-Body Strength
Circuit 1
A. Barbell Back Squat
Set a squat rack up with heavy weight, then grasp bar and step under it. Squeeze shoulder blades together, then stand to unrack bar and step back with feet shoulder-width apart. Inhale, hinge at hips and slowly bend knees to 90 degrees. Pause, keeping natural arch in low back, then extend through hips to powerfully stand. 3 x 4-6 reps
B. Renegade Row
Start in the top position of a pushup with hands shoulder-width apart on moderate-to-heavy dumbbells (shown). Explosively drive right elbow back to row dumbbell toward ribs while balancing on opposite hand and feet. Pause, then slowly lower weight, stopping a few inches above floor. Switch sides after all reps are done. 3 x 5 reps each side
Circuit 2
A. Dumbbell Bentover Row
Stand with feet hip-width apart, holding two moderate-to-heavy dumbbells in front of thighs, palms facing you. Push hips back and hinge torso forward so it’s nearly parallel to floor, soft bend in knees. Dumbbells should be near shins. Drive elbows back to row weights toward ribs. Pause, then slowly lower down for 3 to 5 seconds. 3 x 4-5 reps
B. Incline Dumbbell Chest Press with Legs Raised
Set an adjustable bench to a 30- to 45-degree angle and lie back with dumbbells in either hand. Engage core and lift legs off floor, flexing feet. Press weights overhead, palms in. Slowly lower to 90 degrees, staying tight and compact. Pause, then drive weights up directly over chest. 3 x 4-5 reps
Circuit 3
A. Dumbbell Bulgarian Squat
Stand lunge-length in front of a flat bench, holding heavy dumbbells in each hand by your sides, palms facing in. Rest the ball on top (shoe’s laces) of your right foot behind you on the bench. Slowly lower your body until your front thigh is parallel to the floor. Pause, then drive through your heel to stand. Switch sides after all reps are complete. 2 x 3-4 reps each side
B. Single-leg Romanian Deadlift
Stand with feet hip-width apart holding dumbbells or kettlebells. Drive right leg up, foot flexed, knee aligned with hip, making a 90-degree angle. Hinge at hips as you slowly lever your torso toward floor, lowering weights and driving right leg back for counterbalance. Hold, then squeeze glutes to reverse. 2 x 3-4 reps each side
Circuit 4
A. Pullup
Hang from a pullup bar using an overhand grip with legs extended and feet flexed. Engage lats and draw shoulders down your back, then pull yourself up until chin is higher than hands. Pause at the top, then slowly lower. Pause at bottom, then reset before your next rep. 2-3 x 4-5 reps
B. Kneeling Overhead Barbell Press
Hold a bar with moderate-to-heavy load at shoulder level with forearms perpendicular to floor. Kneel at end of bench with feet flexed to grip edge for support. Inhale, engage your core and glutes, then press the bar overhead, pushing your head forward so it passes your face, exhaling at the top. Slowly lower until elbows are at 90 degrees, then hold to maintain tension. Begin your next rep from here. 2-3 x 4-5 reps
Circuit 5
A. Dumbbell Pushup
Place hands on dumbbells (this provides greater range of motion) at shoulder width and feet wider than shoulder width with just toes touching the ground. Keep head neutral and hips high to increase tension on core, chest and tris and reduce stress on spine. Slowly lower to the floor. Stop once elbows hit 90 degrees, pause, then push up to start. 1-2 x 6-8 reps
B. Biceps Curl
Stand with feet hip-width apart with moderate-to-heavy dumbbells in each hand hanging by sides. Engage biceps to curl the weights up, keeping upper arms still. Pause at the top, then lower slowly. Don’t let arms drop all the way down to keep greater time under tension on biceps. 1-2 x 6-8 reps
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If you haven’t picked up a jump rope since elementary school, you’re missing out on a fantastic cardio workout. Not only will you burn a ton of calories in a short amount of time—200 to 300 calories in 15 minutes—but jump ropes can also improve your coordination and agility. Better yet, jumping rope doesn’t require much space, so it’s easy to do at home, and it’s often more mentally stimulating than jogging or swimming.
Choosing a Jump Rope
When deciding which jump rope is best for you, it’s important to determine what your goals are. While lightweight speed ropes are popular for cardio-focused training, weighted or drag ropes will be best for those focused on strength training.
No matter what your training goals are, we’ve got you covered with this roundup of 10 jump ropes from top brands including Crossrope, TRX, Rogue, and more.
The Best Jump Ropes of 2022
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