Jennifer Lawrence gave her first big magazine interview in years to Vanity Fair to mark the release of Don’t Look Up, and the actress, who’s currently expecting her first child with husband Cooke Maroney, spoke candidly about her new boundaries as she returns to public life.

The world won’t be hearing about her pregnancy or her child on purpose, she made clear, for the sake of her baby and the couple’s right to privacy.

“If I was at a dinner party, and somebody was like, ‘Oh, my God, you’re expecting a baby,’ I wouldn’t be like, ‘God, I can’t talk about that. Get away from me, you psycho!’” she prefaced. “But every instinct in my body wants to protect their privacy for the rest of their lives, as much as I can. I don’t want anyone to feel welcome into their existence. And I feel like that just starts with not including them in this part of my work.”

Lawrence also reflected on her choice to step back from the public eye for the last few years; in September 2017, she revealed she was taking a two-year break from acting after doing back-to-back projects for seven years.

“I didn’t have a life. I thought I should go get one,” she said of the choice now. “The attention on me was so high and extreme that, in a bizarre way, the set had become a great escape. Everybody treats you normally. It’s not like you walk into hair and makeup and people are like, ‘Oh, my God!’ But you get burnt out. Eventually I had to ask myself, ‘Am I saying yes because I want to go to work the next day? Or am I doing this because I want to make this movie?’”

She added that it took her time to be comfortable not having security accompany her everywhere. “Since The Hunger Games, I had a security guard or some kind of comfort thing in case I walked into a restaurant, and everyone went, ‘Oh, God!’ Just for my baseline anxiety.”

“So, when I started dating my now husband, I was so embarrassed to bring my [security guard] when he asked me out,” she said. “I mean, how mortifying would that have been? So I didn’t, and it made me really nervous the first few times, and it turned out totally fine. I realized you get more privacy if… I don’t know if this is even safe to talk about. I have security all the time. Twenty-four hours a day. And a gun!”

Lawrence shared a tiny glimpse into what her marriage to Maroney is like now—something she has also chosen to keep private. “I really enjoy going to the grocery store with him,” she said. “I don’t know why but it fills me with a lot of joy. I think maybe because it’s almost a metaphor for marriage. ‘Okay, we’ve got this list. These are the things we need. Let’s work together and get this done.’ And I always get one of the cooking magazines, like 15 Minute Healthy Meals, and he always gives me a look like, ‘You’re not going to use that. When are you going to make that?’ And I say, ‘Yes, I am. Tuesday!’ And he’s always right, and I never do.”

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