Men’s Journal Everyday Warrior Podcast Episode 31: Adrian Brannan

Men’s Journal’s Everyday Warrior With Mike Sarraille is a podcast that inspires individuals to live more fulfilling lives by having conversations with disrupters and high performers in all walks of life. In episode 31, we spoke to singer and songwriter Adrian Brannan.

Listen to the full episode above (scroll down for the transcript) and see more from this series below.

This interview has not been edited for length or clarity.

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Mike Sarraille: Welcome to the Men’s Journal Everyday Warrior podcast. I’m your host, Mike Sarraille. We’ve got a great guest today, and I’ve been waiting for this. We’ve been waiting for this long time. Uh, Adrian Brannan, uh, better known as Buckaroo Girl. Uh, she, well, actually, let me just read this cause this is good. Oh, no. What do you have? Right? The musician and author of Dear Cowgirl Letters to Women, which let me say, uh, this thing right here, uh, needs to be picked up by. This is what fathers and mothers should give their teenage girls. They need to read that. Uh, Adrian Brannan grew up before the western world’s eyes as a singer. However, the retired ranch, Bronco writer and cowgirl is anything but ordinary. Following an early professional career rooted in Western cowboy music at only 14 years old, Adrian’s latest album, “Desert Dwelling Mama” took the billboard music and iTunes charts by storm. And this is pretty amazing. Released in 2018, the record held strong for a week at number five as the sole independent record alongside musical greats like George Strait, Chris Stapleton, and fellow Cowboy Singer Cody Johnson. That’s, I mean, you, you’re out there. That’s wild. With Hall of Famers. “Desert Dwelling Mama” also won the coveted Wrangler Award presented by the National Cowboy in Western Heritage Museum at the Western Heritage, uh, Awards, which honored the top works in western music, film, television, and literature. “Desert Dwelling Mama” continues to rank on the top country album sales charts. Four years later, and I also love your brand, Make America Cowboy again.

Adrian Brannan:
I have a whole goody box coming for you,

Mike Sarraille:
By the way. No way. So I read this bio, the, and you make me feel inferior. So, uh, acclaimed country star, singer, author, cuz this thing is, is, is amazing. I was reading some of the, uh, the quotes, which you put from here onto, uh, Instagram. Uh, this is something I would want my son to read. This is something I would definitely want my my daughter to, to read. Thank you. But also a, a retired ranch, Bronco riding <laugh>. Uh, you, you basically, uh, you created your own herd, right? Of, of cattle, you

Adrian Brannan:
Ranching. I, I I have a few head of cows now. Yep. It’s, it’s great. They’re, they’re not in DC with me. Um, <laugh>, I run them on a, uh, on a private lease in, in Utah right now in northern Utah. No kidding. Um, with some dear friends, yet. They’re amazing. And that bio makes me sound way cooler than I actually am. I am, I am definitely not cool enough to be sitting here and, and talking with the likes of you. I, um, it, you know, it’s also interesting. Social media has a way of making people think that we’re cooler than we are. We only show like our best parts too.

Mike Sarraille:
Is Georgetown ready for you?

Adrian Brannan:
I have no idea. I’m, um, I’m excited about this. This is a, this is a, a whole new chapter.

Mike Sarraille:
So you are, you are getting your masters? I am in,

Adrian Brannan:
So I’m in the security studies program at the Edmund Day, Walsh School of Foreign Service at Georgetown University in Washington, dc. Um, and it’s actually kind of funny. So I decided in 2019, um, sitting in an airport bar on my way to Scotland that I was gonna go to Georgetown. And it’s funny because I actually, I wrote this down in the note section of my phone and I have it saved. I have a screenshot. I found it the other day. It was like November 12th, 2019. I’m gonna go to Georgetown University. This is what I’m gonna get my acceptance letter. This is what I’m gonna say. And I like wrote it down, This is where I’m gonna go. This is what I’m gonna do. And it’s actually kind of funny. I found it, I found it co I dunno, a week or week or so ago. Set.

Mike Sarraille:
Affirmations are so powerful. It’s

Adrian Brannan:
So weird. And I, affirmations without hard work though is just, Oh, yeah.

Mike Sarraille:
Yeah’s.

Adrian Brannan:
That’s, that’s, that’s where I think we get into trouble nowadays with people on, on social media and stuff. All you need is to believe, no, you need to get off your ass and work really hard for what you want in life. But that positive, that positive thinking and, and yeah, writing it down, looking at your goals everywhere, That’s the first thing I look at

Mike Sarraille:
Before I get good. Buddy of mine, uh, George Silva, uh, assisted. So we just finished our manuscript today. Ah, you did? Yes. Oh

Adrian Brannan:
My gosh. Congratulations.

Mike Sarraille:
Thank you. We’ve got a book called The Everyday Warrior, A No Hack, Practical Approach to Life. Oh, I’m sorry. I will get you a, a preco. Um,

Adrian Brannan:
We finished Talent War a while ago and loved it. It was on my morning watch. Thank you, ma’am. And I really enjoyed it. I liked that you guys, I liked that you narrated it too. I

Mike Sarraille:
Really enjoyed it. And we made fun of ourselves more than we, we patted ourselves in the back.

Adrian Brannan:
Also listening to ourselves, isn’t it? Yes.

Mike Sarraille:
I hate it. Um,

Adrian Brannan:
Never listen to myself.

Mike Sarraille:
I, I, I just can’t write one of those books. Like, uh, I was gonna say one, I’ll, I’ll refrain from that. The, uh, the, the, I just can’t write like the Lone Survivor or American sniper type books. Yeah. It just, I like, because I was part of a team mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like,

Adrian Brannan:
You don’t see yourself as the individual. You see yourself as a part of a cohesive team that, that had objectives.

Mike Sarraille:
So there, there I was surrounded by grenade bins in the worst combat ever. You can’t, there is one book I’m gonna write, and I’m gonna pull Andy Stump into this one, and I’m gonna pull another, uh, uh, one of the most strong woman like you, one of the most resilient women I’ve ever met, Carrie Mills. And I’m, I’m gonna make this happen. Even though I know Carrie, I’ve said something to Carrie, I’ll get Andy to, I will beat the shit out of Andy and, and force him to do it. But

Adrian Brannan:
Physical violence is answer to everything. It is. It really is. That’s what my, my dad’s favorite saying. We,

Mike Sarraille:
We are gonna memorialize 17 of the most lethal just humble warriors. We

Adrian Brannan:
Knew. Oh, I’m excited for this. Oh, I’m so excited for

Mike Sarraille:
This. So the book will not be about us. It’ll be about them. And then, uh, donate all the, uh, the proceeds to probably some good, uh, nonprofits, which 50% of the profits on this book will go to the special operations Workation. Oh,

Adrian Brannan:
Well, they really, Oh, Mike, that’s awesome.

Mike Sarraille:
So, um,

Adrian Brannan:
We have a lot to catch up

Mike Sarraille:
With. Are you going, are you trying to go to the cia?

Adrian Brannan:
Hello? Legally blonde. I should be wearing my pink outfit. Hi. I need all of your secrets that, Oh, I’m, I’m more of a, I’m, I’m more of an academic type. I’m very, I, I love research. Um, I love reading. And this is really, this is really weird. So I came to kind of this crossroads in my life. You know, we, you read out this bio that makes me sound cooler than I am. I had been going on one trajectory in my life for so long, very focused, but I was living it according to other people’s standards and according to what other people saw as success. And then when I stopped or was forced to stop and had to think about what I was doing and what I wanted, I went, You know what I really like doing? I really like reading. I really like writing.

Adrian Brannan:
I really like creating, I love it and passionate about it, but I was just in a green room where some dude tried to hand me a bunch of drugs and I’m not into it. And the nights when you’re touring and the reality of touring and the reality of being a woman touring is very different than what people expect. And for me, I realized that I was living point at point break for a decade, over a decade. Um, and my body and my brain was so wired and so freaking traumatized. And so in fight or flight for so long that it just went, Nope. Can’t do anymore. And I, and I didn’t realize it until 2019. I read, I read a book that came out, um, by a tenured professor at Georgetown, Elizabeth Stanley. She wrote a book called Wide In the Window. Um, and it was talking about trauma in the body and the brain and how those two things in her work. And I went, Oh, her story sounds very similar to mine. I don’t seem so crazy when I read it in her words, Huh. Maybe there’s something to be said about this. And I canceled all of my shows for the rest of that year, cut off my hair bottle one way ticket to Scotland, and was like, All right, I’ll see you guys a little later. I’m gonna go chill out for a while and go Right. Decided, Oh, I’m gonna make Georgetown Michael.

Mike Sarraille:
Good, good. Have you, have you reached out to her yet? Is she still in Georgetown? She’s

Adrian Brannan:
Still at Georgetown. She’s a tenured professor at Georgetown. Are you,

Mike Sarraille:
Do you go introduce yourself?

Adrian Brannan:
I actually have a Zoom session with her this coming week. So when I leave here, I’m gonna get on a plane. I’m gonna go run my first half marathon. Um, and then I’m gonna go have a Zoom session with her and then, uh, on a release the pre-orders for the new book. And then, and then orientation kicks off.

Mike Sarraille:
So the book is dear.

Adrian Brannan:
The book is gonna be the second Dear Cowgirl, but it’s gonna be a hundred poems of hope. So there’s a hundred poems in this one. There was 35 in this one. This book was such an, an accident, quite frankly. Um, you know, Dear Cowgirl, originated from a young woman wrote me, um, who was a fellow domestic violence survivor. And I’d, I had been very open, um, in an article in Western Horseman a few years earlier, um, talking about violence and kind of, I don’t know, a a a weird way for my community. It’s not, I don’t know that I’d ever heard somebody within the westerner cowboy world talk about it in that way. And Cause

Mike Sarraille:
It’s not the image.

Adrian Brannan:
No. It doesn’t fit with the image cowboy

Mike Sarraille:
Up

Adrian Brannan:
And the, the guy, you know, the, the cowboy and the white hat the night and shining armor coming to ride in and save the widows ranch. And, and I’m not saying that all cowboys are bad. I’m not saying, you know, but, but I, I, I had nothing to go off of, of somebody that I saw in my life that had been open about these things. And I don’t know why I did it. I just, I just was honest with the gal that was interviewing me. Katie Franks actually. Um, and this young woman wrote me and she said, He’s gonna kill my dog if I leave. What do I do? And it took me back to somebody telling me, Yeah, your sister will be really, really lucky if she gets out of this in one piece if you try and do anything. And I went, Is this

Mike Sarraille:
A little sister or older

Adrian Brannan:
Sister? Older sister, older sister, Big sister, best friend. Yeah. She’s pretty cool. Um, but I just thought, you know, no, screw that. Like respectfully. Um, I don’t want anybody else to have to navigate this on their own. I want them to know that there’s hope and then, and then it just kind of, it just kind of snowballed and it built itself, quite frankly. Um,

Mike Sarraille:
I can only imagine the fear you had of putting this book out there, <laugh>, because nobody wants to be judged. No. And this goes back to the voice. I wanna talk about the voice cuz it’s crazy what happened after the voice <laugh>, but I was so fearful of putting the talent war out. Were you? Because I didn’t want to be judged. And I like,

Adrian Brannan:
And you’re from a community that is similar to the cowboy community and that everybody knows everybody. Yes. Everybody’s talking about everybody. Everybody knows everybody’s business. And who do you think you are?

Mike Sarraille:
The funny enough, when, and I only really got one negative combat, uh, comment, uh, from somebody in my community. It was, uh, it was on Instagram under the name of Blue Trident. Ooh. With a little shit emoji. Ooh. Sounds. And he contacted me over Messenger and said, you know, you’re a piece of, uh, shit, and, and rattled off this information that was totally like not factual. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> like you were kicked out of the command. Not true. Uh, you were cheating on your wife. Not true. Um, your guys hated you. Not true. Um, and like, it was actually the opposite of all those, those things. Sounds like a

Adrian Brannan:
12 year old sitting in the

Mike Sarraille:
Basement. Yeah. I left with a due reputation and, you know, um, that’s always my military record shows it, it, and it was, it was hurtful though. It was just like, Yes. And I, I said, Hey, I’m, I’m willing to have a conversation with you. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, if you can actually have the balls to like, not hide behind in your, your anonymity and your handle, and here’s my phone number, feel free to call me. I’ll shut you down. Do you think I got a call? No,

Adrian Brannan:
No, no. Because it’s never the people that are doing better than you that are, a few years ago, there was a, a blog that, or a, I don’t even know what it was. It was something online and it was directed at how much, um, they hated me and pulling up pictures and it, it was, it was hilarious. Even though it was laughable because I wouldn’t trade places with him, it still hurt. Yeah. I’m not concrete. Well, you’re not a concrete wall. I mean, you might be a concrete wall. I don’t think you’re a concrete wall.

Mike Sarraille:
No.

Adrian Brannan:
And you do that stuff still hurts.

Mike Sarraille:
One, we’re not sociopaths at all. No. And yeah. Yeah. We at feels just like anyone else, man,

Adrian Brannan:
There can’t be two in the same room. Right.

Mike Sarraille:
I mean, I’m not like, you’re not gonna affect my day to, to, to the degree that it may, uh, affect others. But I remember Joe Rogan saying he just doesn’t read like comments or reviews.

Adrian Brannan:
Yeah. I, I stopped for a long time and my, my relationship with social media is difficult at best because I will prioritize my mental health over publicity, over promotion, over anything. Like, I very infrequently even repost things from my, from my clothing brand to my personal, like Instagram, because I’m like, Oh, I don’t want people to think that I’m like pushing anything on them. Yeah. Like, I’m, I’m weird

Mike Sarraille:
About make a good brand. You’re talking about make, uh,

Adrian Brannan:
American Cowboy make cowboy. I make Mary Cowboy good. So I wore that to the gym in DC the other day.

Mike Sarraille:
And you got comments.

Adrian Brannan:
I would just like to say that I expected there to be negative stuff and I’ve, I’ve expected there to be like a little bit of, you know, a little bit of like, Oh my gosh. And this dude just like walked straight up to me and was like, Yo, love your shirt. And was like, Oh God, I’m so glad. Okay. Thank you.

Mike Sarraille:
Well, I was expecting cowboys to like claim cultural, uh, appropriation. Yeah. And, and, and

Adrian Brannan:
Say, Hey, you get really upset that I was Yeah. But luckily I am a cowboy, so I don’t call myself a cowgirl, so I call myself a cowboy. So, but

Mike Sarraille:
There is, here’s what I love. So, you know, I work closely with Tevis. Yes, sir. Because they basically democratized Cal, you know, Western wear Yeah. Where somebody in New York is now wearing Tevis boots that’s from New York. Yep. And I love their boots, but I love the fact that they, they democratized it. And there is nothing more American No. Than the cowboy image. No. Even in Iraq. And, uh, everybody

Adrian Brannan:
Loves the great American cowboy, even

Mike Sarraille:
In Iraq, in Afghani. So they’d be like, Hey, are you a cowboy? And like, you damn ride I’m a cowboy. John

Adrian Brannan:
Wayne over here.

Mike Sarraille:
San Francisco, California. <laugh>. Uh, yeah. Damn.

Adrian Brannan:
Oh yeah, that’s right. You’re a California guy.

Mike Sarraille:
So you

Adrian Brannan:
Swam. I’m a, well I’m a California girl. I, I do identify as a woman and I will say, I, I’m not gonna tell you my pronouns, but um, cuz I, I, I’m a woman. I just like, we are

Mike Sarraille:
Living in strange times. We

Adrian Brannan:
Are living, we are, we’re living in, I

Mike Sarraille:
Probably just, my name is Mike Sre. My pronouns are he and, uh, him. And I’m wearing a, uh, pla western shirt with Pearl Snaps sitting, uh, at the other side of the table.

Adrian Brannan:
My name is Adrian Brandon. I am a woman wearing a red dress and pronoun feminine traits. Yeah. And my, my pronouns are, Hey, you get the hell out of the gate. And her <laugh>,

Mike Sarraille:
I I, I’ve got no problem. If people sp out their pronouns, I, you know, it, What does it Cause it doesn’t cause me whatsoever.

Adrian Brannan:
Now it’s, now it’s helpful Sometimes I,

Mike Sarraille:
I did go to the s h rm, which is the Society, the Society of Human Resources, uh, management. Okay. Uh, the big conference, it’s huge. All HR people, it’s like their Super Bowl. Okay. Uh, and it was a New Orleans. And, uh, well, one, the name of our company is Talent War Group. Yeah. And we had some women walk behind there, like War,

Adrian Brannan:
Horrified

Mike Sarraille:
War. And we’re like, Hey, hey. It’s, it’s a, it nice war. The, the, uh, win the war for talent or, or the War for Talent was coined by McKinsey. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. It was a famous white paper that then turned into a book. Okay. I believe in 1998, uh, about the, the, the, the, the, the, the challenge to recruit top talent. That’s what it is. And they’re like, Okay, but still that word. I’m like, okay. But when they gave me my, uh, little, you know, tag necklace, it had my pronouns, uh, on it. Nice. And, uh, I’m like, Hey, listen, like, I don’t mind when other people have that. Do you mind removing that? And they wouldn’t remove it. I’m like, Okay,

Adrian Brannan:
Nevermind. Pick your battles. That’s another, another good, another good trait of a leader knowing when to pick your battles.

Mike Sarraille:
Yeah. So I, I wanna go back. Okay. Because we’re

Adrian Brannan:
Gonna getting onto rabbit trails.

Mike Sarraille:
We we are, we’re going all over the place. Here’s the thing, and I want my audience, You are a walking example of resilience. Your life has not been easy. Uh, and when I say that, let’s just say, Oh, your life is not been traditional, the traditional path. And if there’s anything that comes from the Everyday Warrior Podcast, it’s that we want to give the people a little bit of hope, uh, uh, examples of resilience, uh, people that have overcome adversity to let them know that it’s possible. Maybe a few tips that they can absorb into their lives. So you were born in Southern California? Yep. Um, grew up on a ranch in Nevada.

Adrian Brannan:
Well, for a little bit. So I wouldn’t, I I wouldn’t like claim to, to being raised in a ranching family, actually. Um, I wasn’t my dad cowboy’d for a while. Um, so I was born in SoCal. Um, my dad was, um, with the sheriff’s department. He was a sniper, um, for SWAT.

Mike Sarraille:
First off. That’s awesome. God bless your dad. He’s a, he’s a cool dude. When we would go train with like, uh, snipers Yeah. For some of the law enforcement agencies. Yeah. From the, you know, from the seals. They would wipe the floor with us. You know, wanna know why, why? Because we have to be good at so many other things. Of course. That sometimes you’d be off the gun for a month

Adrian Brannan:
Some Oh, they’re just focused on that one thing.

Mike Sarraille:
Yes. The law enforcement had like, uh, standards where they had to fire so many rounds per month and stay current. And we used to go out to the McMillan Sniper School and there’d be nothing but law enforcement and some of ’em were just wiping the floor. Really?

Adrian Brannan:
Yeah.

Mike Sarraille:
No way. And it was good competition. You had no judgment whatsoever. But they were, uh, some of them were pretty, pretty damn good.

Adrian Brannan:
You know, he’s, it’s, it’s, I haven’t shot with him in a while actually. Um, but like, that was always a constant growing up too. It was like, my dad is a very masculine capable man. Like, one of my first memories is of him beating up some minor on the street in Elco, Nevada who said something about my mom, who I would just like to say was wearing like red skintight wranglers and was like, totally hot, You know, of course a minor would say something, but like, is looking behind me and seeing him like wrap this poor guy around a telephone pole. Um, so he was Sorry, dad <laugh>. Yeah. He’s a cool dude,

Mike Sarraille:
Have no doubt. But he was, He sometimes, sometimes that needs to happen. Yes. You have to prove a point. Yes. Because if people are allowed to just say derogatory things or, or do character assassination without any

Adrian Brannan:
Repercussions Yeah. Then, then they’re just gonna keep pushing.

Mike Sarraille:
There. There was a quote from the guy. So the guy who wrote CO and the Barbarian, who was actually CO and the, the Byzantine Okay. 1920s. Uh, and, and I’m gonna butcher this, I I’m gonna need to look it up, but basically wrote about how Savage culture had a mutual respect where the civilized man doesn’t. Oh. Because the civilized man can say whatever he wants without,

Adrian Brannan:
Without repercussions.

Mike Sarraille:
I love that. And he said, We’re a savage culture. You could end up with a hammer through your head.

Adrian Brannan:
I like that. Because it’s, it’s, we’ve made ourselves more dangerous by denying our danger. We’ve made our men more dangerous by denying them their ability to be masculine and to be men. We’ve made women unhappy because we’ve denied them the ability to be women and be feminine. And we’ve denied the fact that we’re different. And instead of celebrating those differences, we’ve made them those bad thing. And I, I think there’s some real problems there.

Mike Sarraille:
What, Just to be woman does not imply weakness or inferiority to towards men. That that’s what, like my mom, Hey, my dad is a big dude. Yep. But we didn’t, we didn’t fear my dad as much as we feared my mom. Yes. And she was also the emotional rock for the entire family. Of course. But it, it’s the same thing with mental health. Mental health issues are not an indication of mental weakness. No.

Adrian Brannan:
I mean, you’re human I believe that they’re actually more of an indicator of, of you being willing to see that there’s problems rather than self medicating and, and denying things and then spiraling deeper. Yeah. And, and taking down people that you love that are around you in the process. Because at that point, it’s not about you. It’s not, it’s about them. We’re really good at rabbit trails, aren’t we? Oh,

Mike Sarraille:
We’re, we’re going down so many holes. So,

Adrian Brannan:
So Southern California. Yeah. Dad, dad was wounded. Um, and, and medically retired. They told him, you know, you’re gonna go do this computer job. And he was like, Yeah, no, I’m not. Um, started a saddle shop, started building saddles. He’s a cool dude. Um, and uh, and behind that cool dude, I truly believe in this. No shade on my dad, but I truly believe that the reason that he did the majority of the things that he did in life are because my mom was there going, Hey, come on Dave, come on Dave, if you got this, let’s go. Let’s go for it. Let’s sell everything and move to another country. Come on. Let’s, let’s go to Nevada. Let’s go. You don’t know how to cowboy. Okay, cool. We’ll call these people outta the blue and we’ll move to Nevada and we’ll go cowboy. I’ll go live in a single way in the middle of the desert with two kids and no money.

Mike Sarraille:
Yeah. That’s my wife. That’s Jordan. That’s,

Adrian Brannan:
That is the kind of woman that you want beside you. Yeah, it is. And that’s the kinda woman that my mom was. Um, so we moved to Nevada, then we moved back to California, and then we sold everything and we moved to Scotland’s <laugh>. Uh, wait,

Mike Sarraille:
So what we’re weird. How did you jump from Nevada to California to Scotland

Adrian Brannan:
We’re weird. It’s just like, it explains a lot of how I am. How weirder? Adventurous. Uh, adventurous. Okay. Probably at the time, you know, it’s really weird is like looking back and seeing how young they were and where they were doing this. And like thinking about, you know, my mom’s my mom’s dad, my grandpa Larry, most amazing man in the world. He’s like, he’s my best friend. I talk to him pretty much every day. Um, he had watch his one and only child go drag his granddaughters around the country. You know, when we were in Ukraine, we were there right after the air and curtain fell. Um, what are you doing with my grandkids? <laugh>? They were just dragging him around the country. Um, so somebody basically said to my dad, You know, cowboys aren’t smart academically. Like, if you don’t have this piece of paper, I don’t respect what you say as a man.

Adrian Brannan:
Mm. And and I feel that a little bit because I think some of my, some of the negative aspect of me wanting to go back to school was me being like, No, screw you. Just because I wear cowboy boots in a cowboy hat and I sing my little cowboy songs on stage. Does not make me somebody that you are allowed to talk down to or disregard or not respect my views on something. And so, for dad, of course, his extreme answer to this statement was, Cool, I’m gonna go get a PhD and screw. And, and he did. We sold everything. We moved to Scotland with four suit cases. Um,

Mike Sarraille:
And he got his PhD.

Adrian Brannan:
He got his PhD, um, in theology and was it theology? And, and, uh, religiously motivated terrorism. So he works, he’s, he’s a professor at the Naval Postgraduate school in Monterey. He teaches asymmetrical warfare. You’re kidding me. And religiously motivated terrorism. And I don’t know, Sorry dad. I don’t know if you want this up on the internet, but I’m talking about it.

Mike Sarraille:
So, you know, a lot of my buddies went to the, uh, the post naval, post naval graduate, uh, school in Monterey. I’m

Adrian Brannan:
Gorgeous. You’re mad that I don’t get to go. I really wanna, I want to, I want to be one of his students so badly. So.

Mike Sarraille:
Well, you never know. There, there may be a way for Georgetown to work some sort of,

Adrian Brannan:
You never, you never know.

Mike Sarraille:
Uh, exchange. That’s insane.

Adrian Brannan:
So, so we went to Scotland and it was the best thing in the world like that. Those are my earliest memories, frankly. I see bits and pieces of Nevada in California. Um, but like Scotland, that was, that was like, that was home

Mike Sarraille:
Really. And during the summers, you guys would,

Adrian Brannan:
So during the summers we were homeless. And I didn’t realize this until I got older. I just thought every summer we went on these little like, adventures. And it was great. And they were, they were great. I remember being hungry a lot. Um, and shoes not fitting. Like, you know, people think of Paris and like seeing all that mm-hmm. <affirmative> and, and Amsterdam. Like, I remember Amsterdam of being like, Okay, I haven’t eaten in like 20 hours. I want some food. Okay, well we’ll just keep walking and we’ll fight something to later ask you mom about. She was like, We had no money for food. And it was like, Oh, okay. Y’all are, y’all are cool. It was always an adventure. We live for like three months, three and a half months out of a tent. And the car GOs and the Scottish Highlands. Um, I learned my first cuss words in a Scottish bossy, you know, the little, the little huts that you stay over night am Yeah. Carved by backpackers up in the wall. It was great. We lived in France and Switzerland. I learned how to swim in France. We learned a little bit of French at a Swiss sporting school. It was great. I

Mike Sarraille:
Loved it. That is one hell of the childhood. It

Adrian Brannan:
Was great. And then we moved back to the States and it was like, boom, you’re an American. And I was like, we landed in Missouri. And I was like, What? Where, where did we just land? Are we in the dark side of the moon?

Mike Sarraille:
That awkward, huh? Will

Adrian Brannan:
Was a little bit of a culture shock. Yeah. Cause you go from Scotland, you know, we’re living in a 500 year old stone cottage and, and playing piano recitals and castles and, um, you know, hanging out with people who are friends with Princess Diana. And like, then you go to Missouri and it’s like, Oh boy, church is in a 10 building and I don’t know what’s up with this humidity thing and where are we? And then it was like, Oh, this is the best thing in the world. How

Mike Sarraille:
Were, how are the people in Scotland?

Adrian Brannan:
To me, like my experience was amazing. And I still have dear friends that are back there that I go back and visit and that I adore. I think Brandons don’t do anything without making a splash. You can tell we’re, you know, you haven’t met the rest of my family, but we’re all very shy.

Mike Sarraille:
Retiring, do another podcast where get them all. God,

Adrian Brannan:
Good luck with that. Yeah. Good luck with that. Um, you know, my dad showed up to Scotland. He showed up, I’m pretty sure on his first day, like at St. Andrews, um, in a flat cowboy hat and, and boots and Levis kind of like I do to most things. Just too dang hot today to do that. But, um, I’m sure the image of an American family popping in, in their cowboy hats like was a little shocking. Um,

Mike Sarraille:
They loved it,

Adrian Brannan:
But, but we loved it. And yeah. And no matter where we went, whether it was Scotland, Ukraine, Poland, France, Switzer, we wanna, wanted to learn about the culture. And there was always this understanding with my parents of, if you are here, you’re gonna learn about the culture. You’re gonna Yeah. Honor the people and respect the people that you’re with. Um, and, and we’re gonna have a great time. It was, it was always fun. Came back to the States and it was like, all right, now it’s time to be a wild child.

Mike Sarraille:
And you left home <laugh> at 1314.

Adrian Brannan:
Well, you know, it’s funny, like looking back on it now, I didn’t know,

Adrian Brannan:
I didn’t know the kind of freedom that was possible in America. Like as a kid, we were pretty much turned loo, We were turned loose in Scotland too. We were pretty crazy in Scotland. But, um, we got back to the states and it was like, you’ve got all these horses, all this country at your disposal. Like as long as you get your school done, the world is your oyster. And I was like, sweet. Uh, and I, I raised the muddy to buy a 14 foot Indian lodge. Um, traditional tepi taught myself how to set it up. And I would move camp. I had a horse that would haul it, cappuccino. And he would haul an Indian travel way around and, and haul the poles from camp to camp. But it was so much fun. The only thing I cared about was being outside, being in the wilderness survival skills, Flint, napping fire, starting building shelters, finding food, finding water, uh, riding my horse. Like

Mike Sarraille:
And your parents were supportive.

Adrian Brannan:
You know, they spent, they would spend their anniversary, which is the day after Christmas. They would come and spend their anniversary dinners in the Tepi. And I would cook them dinner over the fire. My mom would come out and check my homework. She would bring me food, come visit. They, they let me be self-sufficient. It was, it was great. They’re good parents,

Mike Sarraille:
So to say. Your family was a, a great, great family. Loving. They

Adrian Brannan:
Were amazing. They were incredible. Um, sometimes too good. I think. I didn’t, I didn’t know for a long time. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized that I had experienced childhood sexual abuse. I, I didn’t know. Um, it was just something that I, I, I, our brains protect us. Our brains are a beautiful thing. Yeah. They really are. Like, I know it sounds silly. Silly. So

Mike Sarraille:
We shut out. Yes.

Adrian Brannan:
We don’t give our brains enough credit. Um, and my brain did its job and it properly protected me from what had happened when I was little. And until something else happened that triggered it. Um, it, I had this span, this beautiful span of life that’s just like this golden image in my mind. Childhood was beautiful. That time in Missouri, like from the age of eight to 14, it was amazing. Like, that’s my happy place. Was thinking about being in the tv

Mike Sarraille:
And then people see you smiling right now. Yeah.

Adrian Brannan:
I’m, you know, it’s funny, actually this morning before I came here, a young woman on Instagram wrote me and was talking about, you know, how are you happy all the time? I’m not happy all the time. I’m not, Yeah. I’m joyful every damn day though. And joy and happiness are very different because I wake up every day very, very grateful that I am alive. I’m very, very grateful for being on this side of pain. It took a lot of violence to become soft. And I’m really thankful that I get the chance to maybe help tell other people that no matter what you experienced, no matter what you go through, um, it’s not gonna be easy. You’re not gonna wake up every day and go, Oh, it’s the best day in the world. I’m happy the sun is shining. There’s little cartoon birds landing on my shoulders. Um, you’re gonna have days where you don’t wanna drag yourself out of bed and, and you wanna not keep going. And, and I wanna tell them that it, it’s worth continuing to get up every day and continuing to strive for that hope on the other side of the pain. Because you might not have what our society views as happiness, but you’ll have joy.

Mike Sarraille:
Happiness is a, a strange, strange, uh, subject. I love how you just framed that though. While it may not be a happy day, you do have joy. You do have gratitude for the fact that yes, you’re alive and you’re breathing and you live to fight another day. Yes. Yeah. But they’re not all supposed to be, you know, sunshine and rainbows. No. Then, then you wouldn’t appreciate the truly good days if, if everything was like that. But no, you are. And, and I see you tearing up.

Adrian Brannan:
Don’t mind me. I’m, I’m impressed. I’m impressed by you. That’s the first time I’ve ever teared up on a podcast. <laugh>.

Mike Sarraille:
You, you know, I’m trying and I don’t know why I’m trying, and Andy and I had a podcast, like, one of the most manly things you could do is, is cry. I’m trying to think of the famous basketball coach who passed away from cancer. He said, Laugh, think, and cry every day. Oh. And there’s, there’s, there’s no more truth to that Yeah. Than anything else I’ve ever heard. I mean, there’s just, That is, it is so profound. Yeah. And trust me, I saw some of the, what I consider to be most lethal warriors in the world break down when they saw one of their buddies killed. I mean, like, just sobbing like a baby. And none of us passed, uh, judgment. We usually just started crying with him and, and, and wrapped our arms around him. But, um, we, and the same thing with the book. You put out that book that, that vulnerability, people don’t want to open themselves up. And you, you went and on to, to suffer a lot more trauma. And I, I don’t think we, I don’t want to necessarily paint you down that path, but you were in a very abusive relationship while building your singing career <laugh>, while competing at rodeos, traveling.

Adrian Brannan:
You know, it’s, it’s funny. I think our, our, as a family, our kind of proclivity towards pushing through and having that grit that we admire in people is, you know, that we see as being those high achievers. I always had this idea of what I wanted my parents to think of me. And I didn’t understand why it was so difficult for me to just function. Um, I didn’t understand why when I was at shows and men would come up after these shows, they would hug me and I would like, this sounds so terrible, but like physical revulsion from men for a really long time. And, and, and this is, this is gonna sound really awful too, but I was a really subpar, shitty human being for a long time. A long time.

Mike Sarraille:
As a result of the environment and everything you were going to

Adrian Brannan:
No, as a result of me and my failure as, and my failure with my character, it didn’t matter what I went through. There was a time period that I probably was unkind to men and did not treat them well because I saw them as the enemy unconsciously. I, I don’t think I realized that I blamed them for a while. But there for a while it was like, No, no, don’t get too close. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I still struggle with that. It’s still that communication thing of no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nope. Dangerous territory. You, I have this bubble. You’re not allowed inside of it. I’m safe in my bubble. You’re not allowed to come in here. And vulnerability Uhuh can’t happen.

Mike Sarraille:
So you, you’ve reflected over this quite a

Adrian Brannan:
Bit. Oh, so much because I could have burned my life to the ground. I got very close to burning my life to the ground. I got very close to, You know, we talk about those, those moments in life that you go, There are two paths I can take right now. There are two. And one would be understandable. Somebody tortured you and, and humiliated you as a human. And that’s, that’s a thing that I I think people don’t understand. It’s very weird to talk about with society and that humans are capable of inflicting great physical pain onto another human being that is difficult for my brain to comprehend. And people who have not experienced great physical or mental violence don’t what we are willing to do as humans in those moments when somebody wants you to break. Um, and I think it’s always so funny, and maybe you’ve encountered this with like, your, your work is that, you know, you watch a movie with somebody and they’re like, Oh, well I would’ve done X, Y, and Z.

Adrian Brannan:
Yeah. Well, some guy held my head under the water in a bathtub until I was passed out. And I would do anything to make it stop. I’ll tell you anything. I will. So I’ll tell you anything you wanna hear. I’ll make something up, <laugh>, whatever you want, just to make it stop. And there was a time where it was reality was sitting there going, I want to crawl out of my own skin as I’m, I’m not in my own body. I’m looking at this girl sitting in this bathroom after what’s happened to her. And I don’t, I can’t be her. I can just watch her. I can’t be in her body right now. That sounds so weird to say. But I can either go and go, Okay, you know what? These terrible things happened and they really, they really sucked. And I don’t understand. I still to this day, I don’t understand maybe the, the repercussions of that.

Adrian Brannan:

I’m trying to, um, and I can start drinking. I could do drugs. I could hang out with boys that do. Um, I could pursue relationships and attachments that are unhealthy. And I did for a while. And I wanna tell girls that it’s not, it’s not worth it. It’s not gonna fill you up. It’s not gonna help you. It’s not, it’s not gonna change your life. It’s just gonna make you feel empty and lost and alone. Don’t listen to what the world tells you will heal you. Um, there could have been this route and maybe there would be a numbing for a while, but there wouldn’t be a healing. And then there’s this other road and, and there’s no guarantee that I’m gonna get to the end of the road and there’s gonna be some great wonderful destination at the end. Um, I think that road is definitely the better road to, to take though, because I can at least look myself in the eye, in the mirror at the end of the day and maybe have some respect for that human in the mirror rather than the one that would’ve walked down the other road.
Mike Sarraille:
You know, people will always say humans are innately good.
Adrian Brannan:
<laugh>. I, I I struggle with that statement a
Mike Sarraille:
Lot. So do I. So do I when given or placing a, what you would consider a good, you being, being into a situation where you now give them power Yeah. Over someone else. Or money or fame. Uh, you know, the old quote, what is it? Uh, if you were an asshole before power and money, you give an asshole. Yeah. You can be an amplified asshole when you do. Yeah. A power and money. It kills me. You know, I was a little guy in high school. Little, Were you really? Oh, yeah. Uh, wrestled at one 19. My was a freshman sophomore year. I probably didn’t put on more than 10 pounds after that. Really? Uh, yeah. You should see my pictures when I joined the Marine Corps. Not, not not big babies. And then when I left, I was like 200 pounds in best shape in my life. Um, but my dad always said, he’s like, and he was in the army in Vietnam. He fortunately didn’t have to go to Vietnam, but he didn’t have a great army experience. And, uh, he didn’t want me to join the military. But
Adrian Brannan:
Because you joined Marine Corps first you were recon Marine and then
Mike Sarraille:
Yes.
Adrian Brannan:
Got it.

Mike Sarraille:
But he’s like, I always knew you were gonna join the military. And, and eventually asked why. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, he’s like, Cuz you hated bullies. And my, I remember my dad, um, we’re at a San Francisco, uh, Giants game. Okay. And two guys were given a father who, who’s just a little guy and his son a hard time. And my dad sort of picks me up, puts me in the corner right next to this, uh, you know, cement, uh, poll and says, Stay right here. And then walks right over. Pow pow no. And uh, you know, of course I start crying. Uh, but he, he, he never hesitated to, to go up and, and stick

Adrian Brannan:
Up for the underdo.

Mike Sarraille:
Yeah. And he came from a, a, you know, San Francisco, you know, they were rough back then in the, uh, the day. And his father was a, was a, was a lead detective for, for San Francisco. But, Oh wow. The point is like, this is where like men, like when you are abusive towards a woman mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like if the president gave ominous dominus to, to my guys and I, Yeah. We would, we would take him out back and take him to the wood shed, so to speak.

Adrian Brannan:
Your guys are some of the, the best guys I’ve met in that, in that way.

Mike Sarraille:
Well, in, in, you know, I, I never saw instances in, in special operations cuz one, there is a, there is a higher maturity level, especially at, at the tier one level Yeah. Where the women at our commands were, they were almost like little sisters. Yeah. And we, we protected them. Yeah. And if somebody got outta line it, there’s held pay. They, they, they were put in line pretty, uh, pretty damn quick. And so, you know, talking to a few women that are, that were at our command, they’re like, Oh yeah, Yeah. We felt completely, Yeah. Uh, safe. And

Adrian Brannan:
That’s the thing is that, you know, for me, I think the real struggle is always that I never want people to think that I’m like making a blanket statement about men ever. No, no, no. I always wanna be like, No, this was just my experience and it sucked. It, it doesn’t reflect on men as a whole. And I, I never wanted that to be the results of those experiences. And it was something I kind of had to, because, because our world does a really good job of being like, Oh yeah, all men are bad. No, not all men are bad. I love men. I love men. I love good men. I, I appreciate them. I want to be protected by them. I want to be taken care of by them. I, I want to be in that role. There are some bad men though.

Mike Sarraille:
<laugh>. There’re great men. They’re bad men. There are great women. Yes, There are, There are horrible women. They’re

Adrian Brannan:
Horrible women.

Mike Sarraille:
There are good seals and then there are bad seals. Yeah. And that is, it’s the ying and the yang of every, every demographic. Absolutely. There’s good, there’s great cops, there’s

Adrian Brannan:
Good cowboys and there’s bad cowboys. Yeah.

Mike Sarraille:
Yep. I’ve been hanging out with some good cowboys that have you, uh, the Austin, uh, gamblers. Oh, the, the PBR team. The bull rider

Adrian Brannan:
Guy. Oh,

Mike Sarraille:
No way. I was just with, uh, uh, Jose, uh, Vido Lek who’s probably the top writer in, in, in the world. Okay. Um, and dude, they are just god fearing, like good men. This is like family oriented. Yeah. He’s 25, a multimillionaire, one of the best, uh, writers in the world. And he’s just like, God. He’s like, what really matters is like God in, in my family. And he’s like, And I’m just gonna be as, as good at bull writing as I can for as long as I can. But,

Adrian Brannan:
And, and what a fantastic mentality to champion in today’s world too. What, what is so wrong with valuing family? Your faith and a, a good life. What, like somewhere, somewhere along the lines, social media, there’s become this like idealistic view of what you’re supposed to want.

Mike Sarraille:
You said it earlier, you said that certain definitions of success were placed on you. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, funny enough, and I’ve always, I brought this up on multiple podcasts. There’s a good, a guy named Dr. Johnny Kim, who’s one of the most remarkable humans. Seal, Seal

Adrian Brannan:
Astronaut,

Mike Sarraille:
Silver star. Pilot. Pilot. Yeah.

Adrian Brannan:
This man is actually my hero.

Mike Sarraille:
And he’s the most humble dude you’ll ever meet. But he talked about this on, uh, I did a select podcast in the, in the wake of the, uh, the, you know, withdrawal from Afghanistan mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, and he talked about how his dad had very strict definitions of success. Mm-hmm. And it didn’t align with his and how he’s now told his kids, which, if I was his son or daughter, I would be like, Damn, if that’s the standard, like he said, it’s not the standard, whatever you choose to do, whether it’s a pianist and investment banker mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uh, seal or or, or national or anything else, just pour your passion into it. Yeah. That’s all I want. But you have to define your success for you. Yeah. Uh, the voice. So you, I mean, you, you get past this very dark period in your life.

Adrian Brannan:
You know? I really didn’t though. That’s, I think that

Mike Sarraille:
Was, you still hadn’t recovered.

Adrian Brannan:
Think that was a problem, is that you

Mike Sarraille:
Just kept moving.

Adrian Brannan:
I just kept moving, Mike. I just, again, I was like, I’m gonna fricking grit it out. I’m gonna make, I’m gonna, I’m gonna make life work. I was doing everything wrong. Again. I was a subpar human being. I was, I was really a terrible human.

Mike Sarraille:
I love the fact that you own it and you’ve, you’ve reflected and you’ve made, you’ve taken the action to actually oh, take the steps to, to be a better, a better and different person. I

Adrian Brannan:
Dislike who that woman was. Who? Well, who that girl. She wasn’t a woman. She was a girl. She was, she was very hurting. But that was no excuse for what she did and how she lived her life. I had fantastic opportunities and I took advantage of about that much of them because it was so scared because I, I, I look back at, at that time and I’m like, I don’t even re I don’t remember so much of it. Which is a huge problem. Brain, brain injuries are, I think probably as you know, like a really frustrating

Mike Sarraille:
And you’ve been bucked, you’ve been bucked off some,

Adrian Brannan:
You know, I’ve been bucked off really hard because I’m like the most unhandy person in the world. But the, the main, the, the main, the root cause of my head injuries are abuse. And so for me it, it was almost like, you know, somebody beats you with a yellow telephone book. A phone book. And I, I remember thinking, you know, this isn’t like, you know, when they say in the movies where, like in the movies where something really bad happens and somebody gets like that big burst of like power and all of a sudden they know how to fight or they know how to like, no, that doesn’t happen. That’s not, that’s not at least my, You don’t

Mike Sarraille:
Rise to the, you don’t rise to the occasion. Fall to your, your level of training. I didn’t rise. You’re not trained. Yeah.

Adrian Brannan:
Yeah. I didn’t rise to the occasion. I went, Oh my God. The pain hits instantly too. It doesn’t wait. It just, it’s like my teeth. Are it loose? What I thought? Yeah. No, it’s not what I thought at all. That’s tough. This is not cool. I, I, I didn’t, I didn’t have the tools and I wasn’t the person who could handle what was happening then. So when things like getting bucked off and, and rocking your head again, you know, with another head injury happen. I didn’t, I didn’t take care of it. I didn’t take care of myself. And so I continued into this downward spiral. Spiral of unhealthy eating, unhealthy living, um, real extreme sadness and, and setting the relationships around me on fire. Um, and that was not a good situation to go on national television and this great opportunity that everybody said, This is your moment. We’ve been waiting for you to be the superstar. You’re the champion for our community. And I wanted to be somebody that my community could be proud of. I did. I wanted to go and be like, Hey, cowboys are still here. We still produce, you know, Beef for America and the world. We’re still here. Like, like we’re still here. And I love my ag community. I love the western world. Like, oh. And then it was just the worst experience in the entire world. They

Mike Sarraille:
So you just had a bad performance.

Adrian Brannan:
It was a bad performance. It was a bad situation. There’s only so much that I can say because unlike a lot of the people on that show, I read my legal agreement and my statute of limitation’s still not up. So when it is up, I’ll come and tell you about it.

Mike Sarraille:
Yeah, I’d love to. Totally.

Adrian Brannan:
Will.

Mike Sarraille:
I, Yeah. I don’t, I don’t, I’ll be careful with my words right now. Um, it’s, I know that’s a strange environment. Um, I’ll leave it at that. So what, first back to, to cows and cowboys and, and beef seems like cows are being like becoming like a victim of cancel culture. Oh

Adrian Brannan:
My gosh. It’s,

Mike Sarraille:
But they’re all gonna go away. Like, we need to get rid of all cows.

Adrian Brannan:
No. What is it now?

Mike Sarraille:
They’re drink a lot of water and they eat a lot of the, uh, they’re

Adrian Brannan:
Trying to say that grass hoppers produce more protein than cattle do at this point.

Mike Sarraille:
I’m not eating, uh, you can’t make a steak out of a grasshopper.

Adrian Brannan:
That’s a tiny rib. Yeah. That is a tiny rib. Man. I’m not, my world’s smallest violin. It’s

Mike Sarraille:
Not happening. If you tried to eliminate meat. Yeah. I think that will be the final straw to where there’s a total revolution in the uh, Well,

Adrian Brannan:
But I think we’re, we’re on that way though. It’s, and it’s, and it’s fascinating to see, you know, have you ever noticed how these vegans progressively become unhealthy and nothing against veganism or anything? I, I do what you wanna do with your diet. Yeah. But it is interesting to me to see how the, the cattle industry and the ag industry is always a first group of people to be demonized when they are the people that support this country and feed this country. Yeah. Where do the people who lobby for, for them to be, to be dissolved, Where, where do they go after they’ve had a meeting, they go out to a nice steak dinner. Where do they think that comes from? Wrapped in plastic.

Mike Sarraille:
They, so you’ve even seen some traditional vegan people that, that, that wrote articles where they tried meat for a month and they’re like, it’s the healthiest. Uh,

Adrian Brannan:
You see what

Mike Sarraille:
Happens. Gabrielle Lion mm-hmm. <affirmative>, who’s a, a muscle based dietician. Uh, I’ll, I’ll shoot you her link. Fascinating. Uh, pro protein is a vital part. Much like carbs and fats in, in

Adrian Brannan:
More and more

Mike Sarraille:
In in ration Yeah. Or rational, uh, proportions are, are all crucial. But the the vegan thing, I I can’t do it. Yeah. We’re not, we’re not losing meat anytime soon. That’s when I’ll run for president and we’ll put a stop to this. I’m, I’m kidding. Um, so you know what’s interesting? I know you, you know, you shot me a lot of this. You received hate mail post voice. Oh,

Adrian Brannan:
So great.

Mike Sarraille:
I mean, and some of it was vicious. It’s

Adrian Brannan:
Actually really interesting cause like, so in the midst of all this, like right before the voice <laugh>, so I went, did the voice, we were sequestered for like a month and a half I think, in this hotel room. And so I’m the fat, awkward, ugly, weird girl in the cowboy hat. And among this group of people, I still remember the three people that were kind to me, Molly, Jess, and Jemiah. They were the three people that were kind to me during that time among that group. Other than that who vicious, that’s an intensely weird situation to be in. And so we filmed this kind of terrible letdown happens of, I failed, Oh my God, this isn’t like the movies. There’s no chariot’s A fire moment here. There’s, they shuffle you out the back door, literally into this room and are like, Are you sad? Are you unhappy? Are you okay? And you go, No, I’m good. And they go, Okay, cool.

Mike Sarraille:
You’re

Adrian Brannan:
Done. You’re done. And then what is there after that? And then the hate started pouring in. And

Adrian Brannan:
It was really funny. Like I, I distinctly remember this probably really lame one, this like middle aged woman who’s just really pissed about how fat and ugly I was literally like, that was her main thing. Which I, I understand that I was not maybe the vision of the great American cow girl that she wanted on her tv, but she was inventive in what she said. And I took every single thing to heart. And then people started saying things like, We’re gonna come and kill your dog. We’re gonna, you know, you should just hang yourself. You should just kill yourself and you

Mike Sarraille:
Should kill yourself. You

Adrian Brannan:
Should kill yourself. And that was a really hard thing was because at that time that wasn’t a thought that was really far away from me. Yeah. On my own. And not in the way of just in the thought that it’s there. Like full on honesty. Like there’s always an out

Mike Sarraille:
The keyboard cowards as I call ’em. Not keyboard crusaders, not keyboard warriors, keyboard cowards that hide behind the anonymity. They just put that

Adrian Brannan:
Their thought in your

Mike Sarraille:
Head. And it’s so easy Yeah. Yet, what is a percentage of em that would actually have the courage to say that to your face directly? You know what’s funny 0.0001%.

Adrian Brannan:
Yeah. You know what’s funny is that I, I met some of those people who said things publicly afterwards, and they, they groveled Mike, they groveled, they apologized and they groveled. And you know what? That’s great. We all make mistakes. I forgive you. Absolutely. We move on. Absolutely. I, I will judge you off of how you tr off of how you are as a human. And if you say that you’re sorry, then we move on from that. I’m not gonna hold that against you. Then we move on.

Mike Sarraille:
It’s very expedient to say sorry when, when you’re faced. Cuz the very

Adrian Brannan:
Different, when you’re, it’s

Mike Sarraille:
Uncomfortable situation, very uncom like, Oh, hey, I’m so sorry. And, and God knows I’ve done that before, um, where I’ve been caught. But what, Adrian, we are having you back <laugh>. We, we are having you back. Um, and plus I wanna hear about how Georgetown and some of those fiery debates and your classroom go. I’m

Adrian Brannan:
Excited, I’m excited to learn. I’m

Mike Sarraille:
Really excited to learn where the hat to wear the cowboy hat.

Adrian Brannan:
I’ve been wearing the

Mike Sarraille:
Boots. Good. Um,

Adrian Brannan:
Started some interesting conversations.

Mike Sarraille:
You are going, you’re gonna find people are gonna be on the polar opposites, which is fine as long as they can have a, a professional tactful, uh, you know, let’s say rational, uh, logical conversation

Adrian Brannan:
With, There’s been such a welcoming atmosphere where there’s really this beautiful potential for an open dialogue that I’m really excited about because I am there to learn. I I am, I am there to learn. I am fascinated by the effects of violence against women on national security. I’m fascinated by it. Plus I’m nerd, I’m excited about this.

Mike Sarraille:
What a focus, given your life story.

Adrian Brannan:
These are my experiences. Who I could have become and what could have happened to me is something that I view as being a key to analyzing what could potentially happen in other areas of the world and how we can protect

Mike Sarraille:
You’ve got an uphill battle against, I mean no, it’s, that is a noble battle. But given other cultures that’s, we both know that’s,

Adrian Brannan:
It’s, it’s an inter but it’s an interesting question to ask too. How vulnerable of a person do you create when you create a person who is a breaking point because of what they’re experiencing at home? Because for some people, an out is an out, and if somebody else is adding an extremist label to it afterwards Yeah. What do they care? Those are the questions I wanna ask

Mike Sarraille:
That. No, no. That, that is a noble pursuit. And and we need somebody in, in areas like that. It’s, I’m just amazed. Are you gonna put music down or is

Adrian Brannan:
Music? I, I have a new, I have a new album coming. Yes. I’m super

Mike Sarraille:
Excited. When, when is it coming out? So, new

Adrian Brannan:
Book. That’s a good

Mike Sarraille:
Question. Fall of 2022, Is that correct?

Adrian Brannan:
Fall of 2022. Uh, Dear Cow Girl Hunter, Poems of Hope. Hunter poems. Super excited. It’s done being written. We have Amazon, It’ll be up on Amazon and bucker girl.com. Um, when, that’s a really good question. It was supposed to be done this spring. Okay. Instead I got into grad school, freaked out, jumped out of a plane, and then moved to dc So

Mike Sarraille:
Without me, by the way,

Adrian Brannan:
I’m, I know, I’m sorry. We’re we’re,

Mike Sarraille:
We’re gonna

Adrian Brannan:
Fix this. We’re gonna fix this. I offend, I offended Mike. I funded up, but before we ever even got, Sorry,

Mike Sarraille:
What’s a new album coming out?

Adrian Brannan:
I would say I’m gonna release a single, um, probably in the next three months that we already recorded. And then we’ve got a full length album coming spring of 23.

Mike Sarraille:
Uh, And you, you recorded that with a, with

Adrian Brannan:
Who? A few people. Okay. There’s some, there’s some things coming. There’s some stuff and things coming that I won’t

Mike Sarraille:
Disclose. You Celebrity at Georgetown, you’re gonna be a celebrity. I,

Adrian Brannan:
I don’t, Maybe more notorious than <laugh>. They’ve been, they’ve been lovely about understanding my weird background. I really saw it as a, as a, as a negative thing. Yeah. And they’ve been so wonderful about saying, No, we really welcome your unique perspective on things that

Mike Sarraille:
You need. It. You you need diversity and, and thought

Adrian Brannan:
Yeah. Sure. Things. And I appreciate that

Mike Sarraille:
For those programs. Yeah.

Adrian Brannan:
And I appreciate that.

Mike Sarraille:
Um, well, you’re not off the hot seat yet, so we ask, uh, a few questions Okay. Uh, hard questions as we end. And, and it’s meant to be vulnerable. And I, I, I’ve gotta thank you for one, your vulnerability in this podcast, sharing some of the things that naturally, uh, were not easy times in your life, but have shaped you into the remarkable woman that you are today. Thank you that I would point any young girl to include my 18 year old daughter and be like, listen to her as well as my son. So first question is, biggest regret of your life. And we all have regrets. Nobody says No regrets. No regrets. Get outta here.

Adrian Brannan:
No regrets. Um, no, I I have many regrets. I think actually most of them personal failings on my part to take accountability for who and what I was as a daughter, as a friend, as a human, and as a leader. Because like it or not, whether we’re struggling with our personal issues, my businesses suffered and the people surrounding those businesses and the people surrounding me suffered because of the result of me being a weak human. And I wish that I had frankly figured my stuff out sooner so that I didn’t negatively impact those things. Um, but now I’m able to see those things and change them.

Mike Sarraille:
Yeah. I think we all regret the fact that we didn’t straighten our stuff out.

Adrian Brannan:
What did it take you so long?

Mike Sarraille:
Hardest decision. I think I know where you’re gonna say here. The hardest decision you’ve ever had ever had to make.

Adrian Brannan:
Choosing life, choosing to live with joy, choosing to not live with anger about what has happened and choosing to live with hope. I think it would’ve been very easy to choose another way. Yeah. And I’m really thankful for the fact victim way.

Mike Sarraille:
Yeah.

Adrian Brannan:
Yeah. I’m not a victim.

Mike Sarraille:
Was it hard to leave that relationship?

Adrian Brannan:
Yes. Because what most people don’t understand about domestic violence is that a lot of the time, um, these are people that you care for deeply. Yeah. This is not some stranger in an alleyway. These are people that you trusted and that were a good thing at a point in your life. And, uh, and that’s what nobody wants to hear, is that you can care about and want to protect the people who are hurting you the most. And that’s a reality that people don’t like to, to hear.

Mike Sarraille:
And there’s a lot of people that are stuck in that situation right now,

Adrian Brannan:
And they can get out of it. And it’s not gonna be easy. And it’s not like the movies, but there are

Mike Sarraille:
Resources. Easier said than done.

Adrian Brannan:
It’s easier said than done, like anything in life. But it’s so worth it. Yeah. Because joy that is waiting on the other side of it is just unexplainable. It’s unimaginable.

Mike Sarraille:
What are those one to three things, those, those key tenants in your life that have led to success or you try to live by your code?

Adrian Brannan:
Uh, I discovered stoicism in 2019. Um,

Mike Sarraille:
Isn’t it great? Oh my God. There’s nothing, I mean, there’s nothing about Stoy. That’s my drug. Big apart.

Adrian Brannan:
That’s my drug. That is, that is my drug. I owe zero. I owe Marcus a I owe Seneca. Um, I’m reading discourse right now and just going, ah, I got my dad hooked on. So, I mean, this is, I wake up every day and what is gonna happen to me happens to me. And it is how I respond. That matters. Not what happens to me.

Mike Sarraille:
Control what you can and let disregard what you can’t. Yeah.

Adrian Brannan:
I don’t, It’s water off my back.

Mike Sarraille:
So, Stoicism,

Adrian Brannan:
Stoicism, um, I started working out. I’m nowhere near where I wanna be. Um, I,

Mike Sarraille:
And, and I gonna say I watched that transformation. Well done. Thank you.

Adrian Brannan:
Well done. I’m still on that journey. I appreciate it. I’m still on that trip. Maybe Jordan can give me some tips.

Mike Sarraille:
<laugh>, you. I don’t know if you saw, if you go, I think it’s the latest post from Jordan. You see her in college.

Adrian Brannan:
That woman’s amazing. No, she’s my hero. I’m I’m serious.

Mike Sarraille:
She, she is. Even between when I met her in 2015 to when we reconnected in 2017 mm-hmm. <affirmative>, what a transformation. And then even from 2017 to now,

Adrian Brannan:
To now,

Mike Sarraille:
Man,

Adrian Brannan:
Stalker girl. She’s amazing. No, I don’t wanna pick her brain.

Mike Sarraille:
Give her compliments.

Adrian Brannan:
I’m totally going to. Okay. Sorry. You’re losing this

Mike Sarraille:
Battle. So you choosing fitness.

Adrian Brannan:
Yeah. And, and, and healthiness, you know, you, you had, um, doc on here, Doc Parsley. Yeah. And listening to that, that was huge for me because sleep has always been, I mean, Oh,

Mike Sarraille:
He is asleep. He believes it’s the gateway to all health.

Adrian Brannan:
Oh. And I think he’s right. It’s just, it’s, it’s hell. Because I usually sleep like two or three hours a night. Yeah. So, so that’s something that I’m like, I’m striving towards.

Mike Sarraille:
So I need to get you some doc, parsley, sleep, eggs. Send, send a box.

Adrian Brannan:
I am, I’m, I’m a fan. I’m

Mike Sarraille:
On board. Give him a shout out. He’ll, he’ll send those. I’m

Adrian Brannan:
I will go by them. He’s good. I’m, I’m cool for anything. So Stoicism fitness and then, um, asking yourself what you act actually want and then taking action because we’re really good at asking what do we want and making Pinterest boards and Oh, one day I’m gonna have this and one day I’m gonna do that. Well, not if you don’t get off your ass. Yeah. And go take action. Start moving before you know how to do it. You will learn on the way down before you know how to do it. You will not learn how to build a business by reading a book. You will learn it by building it. You will not learn how to live your best life by sitting there thinking about it. You will learn it by living it. Go do it.

Mike Sarraille:
Like, like my friend George Silva. Uh, who again, who will help with the book, uh, Affirmations Without Action are just daydream. I love that’s what he says. I love it. Like, I love I love that comment. I love it. So those are power, powerful stoicism, uh, fitness and health. And then, um, um, action. What you want. And taking, taking action. Action. Taking, um, brain trauma.

Adrian Brannan:
I see that hand. It’s like having a wall in front of you that you can’t get over, which is what I’m worried about with school. I’m like, just, Oh, give me two seconds.

Mike Sarraille:
So it’s gonna be wildly different because I got my mba Yeah. After the Seal career. Yeah. And the brain was just not working so we’ll, we’ll take that conversation offline, but I

Adrian Brannan:
Would, I would love to hear your thoughts because I’m, I’m preparing and talking with professors.

Mike Sarraille:
It’s hard. It’s gonna be harder. It’s gonna be harder. And uh, yeah. It’s like the hamster. Hamster used to be muscular and fit a lot of shape. The

Adrian Brannan:
Hamster, I always think of it as this wall. I just can’t quite crawl over. And then if somebody answers before me and it just pisses me off. Yeah. Oh, I’m not competitive at

Mike Sarraille:
All. <laugh>. So this one I love because I, I’m, I’m, you know, and I think this answer changes as you get older. But when all is said and done and, uh, Adrian Brandon is in her nineties and knows that the time is coming. Yeah. How is she gonna look back and evaluate Lever, whether she’s lived a life of purpose and impact,

Adrian Brannan:
How the people around me are affected by me. How I’ve impacted them. How are the people that I loved the most and the people that I was surrounded by, how did they come out the other end by knowing me? Were they better or were they worse?

Mike Sarraille:
Yeah.

Adrian Brannan:
And if they were worse, then I didn’t live a good life. And if they’re better, then maybe I did. Okay.

Mike Sarraille:
Impact is the greatest currency in life, as I was always say in what you do for other people. It’s your legacy that, that is left behind when you are six feet in the ground.

Adrian Brannan:
Cause we can’t take it with us. Right? No,

Mike Sarraille:
We can’t.

Adrian Brannan:
Alexander the Great with his hands.

Mike Sarraille:
<laugh>. Um, well Adrian, uh, thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me. You are spitting gold. Thank you. You are. I mean, dude, I hope you don’t choose another career path. <laugh>. I think you will set a, a world record. But let me say this as we yo out. Um, I spent my life eliminating, Well, my guys did the eliminating. I I put my guys and gave ’em the resources they needed to, to do it. Let me make, take that, you know, said that straight and I was proud to do it, uh, to watch them, but basically eliminated bullies. And for those suffering domestic violence, the hardest decision you’re ever gonna have to make is to leave. But it’s the best decision. You have to choose you, not them. Yeah. Emotional, uh, and physical abuse, whether it’s a man of inflicting it on a woman or a woman, inflicting it on a man, you are a coward, uh, at best and evil, uh, at worst. And you will, you, you’ll have it coming. A karma is a bitch and it’ll come back to you. So, um, that kills me. That, that happens in our nation. When we were forward thinking, we were, we were doing it to, to prevent that type of evil coming to, uh, to, to our nation. But guess what? It, it’s already here

Adrian Brannan:
Every 68 seconds.

Mike Sarraille:
Every 68 seconds.

Adrian Brannan:
So somebody that you know and love, nobody

Mike Sarraille:
Are, are there any great resources for

Adrian Brannan:
Women? Amazing resources for men and women. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and which is something that I always wanna make fun. What’s the rain? Rain rain.org. Um, r r a i n org rain.org. They have a fantastic resource of, um, there’s counselors, there’s hotlines, 24 hour hotlines. I have used it many times with wonderful, warm, welcoming humans who want,

Mike Sarraille:
Will they actually help people get out of abusive relationships? Like, Hey, we’re gonna contact the police, or this is what you

Adrian Brannan:
Do. They provide support to help you get there. There are many legal hoops to jump through for, for people, but there are also, um, rape crisis centers that offer, um, people who will go with you to hospitals, um, when there are rape kits involved. Yeah. When there are situations like that. I never experienced those kinds of situations, but after viewing them a little bit through some experience at a rape crisis center that I was involved with, I I saw that the deep need for kind humans that can accompany people who have been through something unmanageable, um, in those moments to help guide them through the process. Yeah. Because when there is a legal process, um, it’s complicated and it’s, and it’s terrible. And, and there are people there to support you through that. And barring that, there are other people out there who are willing to talk to you about it. Talk, talk to you about getting your children and your, your animals safely out. Contact me. We can, we can get you in touch with, with great people.

Mike Sarraille:
Okay. So rain.org or go to, uh, local Indian. There’s Bucker Instagram. Yeah. Buckaroo Girl, I can’t thank you enough for the book. And guys, you gotta pick this up. Go check out her Instagram account at

Adrian Brannan:
Adrian b Brandon and then, uh, just bucker girl.com. Yeah. Cause

Mike Sarraille:
I love the fact that you posting some of this on, on your posting there. They’re beautifully written. Thank you so

Adrian Brannan:
Much for your time for having me.

Mike Sarraille:

Absolutely. I really enjoyed. it To our listeners. Thanks for joining us on another episode of the Men’s Journal Everyday Warrior podcast. Hey, whatever platform you utilize to listen to our podcast, please, please leave a review. We read all of them. That’s how we get better. And lastly, again, thank you to our sponsor, Pendleton Whiskey. We’ve got your six. Cheers.