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Kong Has a Few Things to Get Off His Huge, Hairy Chest

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Kong Has a Few Things to Get Off His Huge, Hairy Chest


The whole “King” thing has never been my idea. Really, it’s kind of odd that Americans like to label their pop-culture heroes as “King This” and “Queen That” considering the country had a whole revolution to reject royal rule. It’s not like my word is law or anything. But hey, if the size 900 crown fits…

 

 

It was a simpler time. You spotted a blonde offered to you in sacrifice, scooped her up, and found a romantic waterfall where you could get to know each other. Understand, I’m not saying it was better then. Times change, even on Skull Island.

The ’80s were great. Big paydays, hanging out with Sly and Arnie, mountains of blow. Literal mountains.

Cranking out a major Kong film every year would hurt my brand. So sometimes I do pick up some character work. If you look closely at Lord of the Rings, you might notice the Balrog fire monster moves with a certain simian grace.

Zilla got the bigger trailer. He was all, “My tail needs more room.” Yeah, well, not as much room as his freaking ego. No, I kid, he’s a total pro. I say “he,” but I understand there’s some confusion on that point. I mean, how do you really tell with a lizard, am I right? And if Zilla is a gal, heck yes, give the lady the bigger trailer.

The catering budget alone on this thing was bigger than Infinity War. Normally I’m a bushmeat and potatoes kind of gorilla, but I’ll say one thing: Zilla flew a chef in from Japan to do omakase, and it really opened my eyes to what sushi can be.

Yeah, I held out for a while. I just thought the script needed a little work. It would just say “Big Fight Scene,” and I’m like “OK, but why am I fighting? Am I threatened, or pissed off, or what? Then came the buzz that the studio was talking to Momoa, so I closed the deal. I’m Kong. Period.

Where do I poop, you ask? What a bizarre question. Would you ask DeNiro that? Let’s just say there are certain parts of New Jersey you should avoid more than others. Let’s move on, shall we?

I typically do all my own stunts. But climb a @#&%’n skyscraper? No, no, my friends, that’s what CGI is for.

Monster-mash blockbuster Godzilla Vs. Kong hits theaters and HBO Max March 31


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https://www.mensjournal.com/travel/best-adults-only-resorts/

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How to Explore the Best of West Virginia’s State Parks and Forests This Fall | Men’s Journal

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How to Explore the Best of West Virginia’s State Parks and Forests This Fall | Men's Journal


2. Cacapon Resort State Park

West Virginia’s Eastern Panhandle remains a popular escape thanks to its epic scenery, historic points of interest, and convenient proximity to hubs like Baltimore and Washington, D.C. This captivating region is also home to Cacapon Resort State Park. Tucked away in a folded mountain ridge, this park encompasses more than 6,000 acres and tends to lure lovebirds, history buffs, daredevils, and families. A visit here is like a choose-your-own-adventure getaway. Whether you’re chasing a wild, untamed experience or seeking a more laid-back, restorative vibe, you’re bound to find it here. Bonus: It’s only about an hour from the Beltway.

What to do: For a rugged retreat, take advantage of the park’s challenging single-track biking trails, marked by mountain switchbacks and varying terrain. Hikers can take off on nine different trails that wind over 23 miles. Trek up to the Cacapon Mountain observation deck (one of the state’s most Instagrammable spots) to get jaw-dropping overlooks of West Virginia, Virginia, Maryland, and Pennsylvania all at once. You can also explore the park on horseback. Triple-C Outfitters is a family-run riding stable that’s been offering guided tours in the region for more than two decades. Golfers flock to the park to play the 18-hole championship course, which features 73 sand bunkers and a commanding double green that’s over 100 yards wide. Designed by famed golf course architect Robert Trent Jones, Sr., it ranks among the top 130 best-designed courses in the country. You can also grab a few buddies for some friendly competition. Game courts for tennis, basketball, sand volleyball, and even wobble clay shooting are available.

Where to stay: Searching for a sophisticated stay? The recently renovated 124-room Cacapon Resort is the newest lodge in the West Virginia State Parks System. The luxury property offers indoor and outdoor dining plus the full-service Healing Waters Spa. Fun fact: The area is known for its rejuvenating mineral springs and the name “Cacapon” is derived from a Shawnee word meaning “medicine waters.” The park also has a collection of cabins in four different styles to customize your stay: Vacation, Legacy, Classic, and Economy. The advantages depend on which category you book, but they all offer the basics, like running water, electricity, fully equipped kitchens, and showers. There’s also The Old Inn, a palatial 12-room cabin that sleeps up to 32 people. Its impressive claim to fame is being the very first lodge in the West Virginia State Parks System.



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Best Adults-Only Resorts for a Kid-Free Getaway

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Chatham Inn, Relais & Châteaux in Chatham, MA


[from $2,750 per night; twinfarms.com]

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Chatham Inn

3. Chatham Inn, Relais & Châteaux in Chatham, MA

For another Relais & Châteaux jewel, head to Cape Cod. This 18-room, adults-only property is a postcard-perfect getaway. Spend relaxing afternoons strolling around the historic environs (the village of Chatham was established in 1712), scoping out lighthouses, hanging on the beach, and biking or boating the day away with your loved one. No trip to Chatham Inn is complete without a meal at Cuvée, run by 3 Michelin Star-awarded chef Isaac Olivo, for a tasting menu that melds together European technique with coastal flavor.

[from $349 per night; chathaminn.com]

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Triple Creek Ranch in Darby, Montana
Triple Creek Ranch

4. Triple Creek Ranch in Darby, Montana

Head to the majestic Bitterroot Valley outside Darby Montana, to this adults-only ranch amid towering pines below a 10,000-foot mountain. There, you’ll stay in a private cabin as you indulge in fine wines and high-mountain fare (think Montana huckleberries, fiddlehead ferns, and rattlesnake sausage). Partake in hiking, mountain biking, horseback riding, fly-fishing, panning for sapphires (yes, really), and other alpine adventures. Throughout the lodge and cabins, be sure to feast your eyes on the beautiful collection of Western paintings and sculptures. There are works by classic greats like Charles M. Russell and Frederic Remington, and contemporary standouts like William Matthews and Oleg Stavrowsky.

[from $1,300 per night; triplecreekranch.com]

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